Check Point Charlie – Berlin 1986

 

Check Point Charlie – Berlin 1986

By Wil Bosbyshell

It was three in the morning in Berlin Germany. I was in my full U.S. Army Class A uniform, medals and all; it was a bit rumpled. It had been a long, exciting and interesting day in both East and West Berlin. 

I was in the US equivalent of Dunkin' Donuts, a ‘Berliner’ shop. That is what they called donuts in Berlin. I am charitable in comparing a Berliner to a donut. Both are pastries at least, but donuts taste good. I needed coffee, lots of coffee. I was worried that I was really drunk. I didn't think I was drunk, but it was Berlin on New Year’s Eve, and the other possibility was that I hallucinating.

The donut shop was a clean and well-lit place, just like an Ernst Hemingway story. It was on a major square in downtown West Berlin. On the sidewalk outside thousands of people jostled on the street because everyone was partying or heading to a party. I had just left a disco dance club to get a bit of fresh air and spied this donut / Berliner shop. The shop was crowded with people who needed some caffeine to continue partying. I was contemplating all I had done that day watching the crowds on the street, people coming and going …. wait, was that a vampire? A couple, dressed in all black, walked into and through the shop. Straight from the front door to the bathroom (water closet). “OK,” I thought… vampires. I ordered a second cup of coffee. 

I was on a three month leave while on active duty in U S Army and between duty stations. I travelled to Europe on an Air Force plane to visit my sister in Germany. I flew from South Carolina to Frankfurt then back to Canada through DC to South Carolina roundtrip halfway around the world for $1.15. I'm not sure what the $1.15 cents paid for, but it had to be paid in cash, in exact change. That's the US military way. 

In Bamberg Germany, I joined four Army officers who wanted to spend New Year's Eve in Berlin. Why not, I thought. On the way to Berlin, we drove through the less famous checkpoints: Alpha and Bravo. Once in Berlin we checked into the bachelors’ officers’ quarters, donned our Class A uniforms and headed for the infamous Checkpoint Charlie. This was 1986 and half of Berlin and Germany were communist under the influence of the Soviet Union (USSR). The US Army had an agreement that soldiers could spend the day in communist East Berlin if they were out by midnight. On the dot, or you were shot…. dead. 

We walked through Checkpoint Charlie into no man's land. Cameras and machine guns trained on us! Many of each. Scary to have that many loaded weapons pointed at you. We endured many inspections, a great deal of ID and passport presenting, and uniform inspections on both sides. Through the Berlin Wall inside East Berlin we went straight to the Soviet Officers Club. The USSR Officers’ Club met all our décor expectations: they even had several very large statutes of Lenin and Stalin in the foyer. We bought everyone in the bar a round of drinks and toasted to our respective countries and services.

The exchange rate between the communist east and capitalistic west was twenty to one (GDR East German Deutsche Marks to U.S. dollars). We were received warmly by the people in East Berlin, especially if we were buying the drinks. 

On we went to dinner. We were turned away from five fine dining establishments. They were full and required reservations. There was no way to make a reservation, much less a phone call between East and West Berlin. 

My buddies and I huddled. 

Meanwhile back in the donut shop, another group came into the donut shop in all black clothing, white skin, and black hair. One of the women turned to say something to the group… did I see fangs? Straight to the bathroom they went. No one in the group stopped to get any coffee. Strange coincidence? Two groups of vampires? No one else in the donut shop seemed to notice. 

Back in East Berlin, I said, “Guys the exchange rate is twenty to one, that means if we give the maître-d' a $20 dollar bill that’s worth 400DM (Deutsche Marks).” “No way that will work,” one of the other junior officers said, “look at that line, they'll never let us cut in front of that line even for 400DM.” “What do we have to lose? Let's try it.” I walked up to the maître-d' who had just turned us away saying the restaurant was too crowded, (in broken German) “A table for five, bitter.” and slipped him $40 U.S. dollars folded. He looked down, no hesitation: “Wait please.” Moments later a table was carried over everyone’s head and placed in the aisle. We were in! The seven course meal lasted three hours, the final two courses being cigars and brandy. Smoking was allowed everywhere in the world at this time. Barbaric, I know! Each man paid $20 US for the meal including a generous tip. 

We proceeded to a communist disco until eleven when we left to return across the border wall through Checkpoint Charlie. We didn’t want to be late and shot after all. 

I interrupt this story to notice a third group of vampires walk through the donut shop directly to the bathroom. 

After crossing back into West Berlin and into the US zone we went straight to another disco. The US Army class A hat was hell to keep up with in a dance club, but I managed. The round saucer hat got kicked and stepped on a few times. Oh well. 

Not a single vampire had emerged from the bathroom at this point. I had observed at least ten go in. What was going on? Inquiring minds had to know! Maybe the donut shop had a really large bathroom? I finished my Berliner and coffee, paid, and went into the hall to the men’s room. Expecting a full house of vampires in the men’s bathroom, I yanked the door open … nothing. I stood there for a moment. 

I went back out in the hallway, four doors: Damen, Herren, Kuche (kitchen), and a door with no sign. The blank door beckoned, so I pushed it open. Wow! Crazy lights, deafening Goth dark-wave music, all black walls, chain link fence décor… a full-blown dance club. A vampire disco! No sign, no bouncer, but lots of fangs, pale skin, black jeans and black hair. “Fun,” I thought. My uniform was definitely not meeting the vampire disco dress code. It was Berlin on New Year's Eve after all….the vampires didn’t mind. 

Saint Nikolaus Day in Germany

 

Saint Nikolaus Day in Germany
by Wil Bosbyshell

Looking to my left, a German shepherd complete with festive Christmas neckerchief sat in the chair next to me. He was very polite, especially for a dog. To my right sat a German boy about 11 years old. There was one other dog further down the table, in addition to grandparents, parents and lots of kids of all ages.

I was seated at a long table with about 45 Germans in the local Brauerei. Several families from one neighborhood gathered together to celebrate Saint Nikolaus Day on December 6th 1987.

I was drinking beer, the dog’s had water and the kids had lemonade or Radler. If I wanted food or another beer I called for an auction. I simply lifted my empty beer stein; I didn't speak too many German words. The emcee would head over to a large Christmas tree in the corner and pull a branch off. The branches were decorated with beer, champagne, and Bratwurst. Holding the branch, he announced the auction. If I wanted a beer, I had to be the high bidder. Hilarity ensued. Controlled chaos with a laugh track.

All proceeds went to the neighborhood soccer club. The event featured sports awards both serious and humorous. Sports awards are the same the world around. The awards were sporadically interrupted by tree branch auctions. If I were bidding too high the German shepherd would put his paw on my hand to keep it down. Dogs know when you are getting carried away with the bidding.

My sister, Mary Helen, walked over at one point to tell me I was buying too many branches. I was staying with her and her husband, Kevin, in Bamberg Germany. Kevin was a US Army Armor officer commanding a tank platoon. I was an Army Artillery first lieutenant on a three month leave between duty stations.

After the awards, a hush fell on the assembled crowd. The door burst open, and two figures emerged from the falling snow outside. The man was the real deal: red coat trimmed in white fur, real beard, red hat, black belt and real black boots. Nothing fake or cheesy looking. Saint Nikolaus or Santa Claus was here in the flesh.

Saint Lucy was at his side with an embroidered full-length dress and a wreath of garland in her long blonde hair. St. Nikolaus had two sacks over his shoulders, one stuffed to the brim with Christmas presents and stockings. The other sack was slack, holding only long tree branches cut into switches. Saint Nikolaus stomped the snow off his boots, walked to the center of the room and made a solemn pronouncement.

I didn’t speak much German, but it was obvious what he said. He placed both sacks on the floor and called the first name of a child. A boy of about seven walked up and stood in front of Saint Nikolaus and Saint Lucy. Saint Lucy produced a book and began reading. She listed the bad things this boy had done during the year. It was a brief list.

Next Saint Lucy listed the good things that the young boy had done throughout the year. The good list outnumbered the bad list. The assembled crowd applauded and St. Nikolaus gave the boy a stocking of candy and wrapped gifts. Everyone toasted, “Prost!” The dogs even smiled.

The kids were called out one by one and they had all been pretty good this past year. About ten kids into the event a small girl was summoned before St. Nikolaus.

Saint Lucy launched into a list of her misdeeds. The crowd sighed and booed as the bad behavior was listed point by point. The girl looked nervous. Her bad list went on and on. She had been an unbelievably bad little girl. St. Nikolaus raised his hand. Saint Lucy stopped reading. He bent over and opened the sack of switches. All the adults, including me, were given a switch.

All the adults waved their switches as Saint Lucy continue reading the girl’s misdeeds. This was a blood thirsty crowd! St. Nikolaus had the girl step into the sack, but the sack was left on the ground around her feet. Saint Lucy began to read the girls good deeds, but it was a light and short list. The crowd chanted for the girl to be put in the sack and switched. I realized this was the girl's fate if the good list was shorter than the bad list.

Tears ran down the girls face but Saint Lucy pronounced that the girl had one good deed more than her bad deeds. The crowd booed; they were ready to switch her. She got a small stocking and ran quickly away back to her seat. One other boy came close to being switched. But all the kids had been good this year, though for some it was a narrow escape from being switched in the sack.

One parent near me assured me that bad kids had been switched in years past, but it was rare. He seemed disappointed with this year’s outcome.

Saint Nikolaus gave the last kid their stocking. He exclaimed a jolly, “Ho Ho Ho,” wishing all a Merry Christmas. Then, he and Saint Lucy walked out into the snowy German winter night.

I bought more branches for dinner, I had no idea how much money I spent. Several boys and I had a water fight in the bathroom. I had stopped drinking beer, not being able to keep up with this German crowd. More awards were given, and we sang Christmas carols. The words were German, but the tunes were the same ones I knew by heart: Silent Night is the same song halfway around the world.

Merry Christmas.